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My Primitive Joy

by Michael Tarbox

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1.
At Dusk 02:41
AT DUSK At dusk I hear the wild birds calling As night whispers on the stones We paid what we owed to darkness Now darkness leaves us alone Coming here each a stranger Knowing well the stranger's art What a shame if we as strangers From this place should depart The poverty of souls lost to knowing The nameless sum of all that's lost Innocents betrayed at the altar, All gone in the dust… Still in gathered evening Silence falls on the moor I hear a sweet voice singing And wonder who it's calling for Sweet dreams now enfold you Their comforts shall be yours As we drift beloved Towards the shifting shore This world in all its danger Soon may fall away Still in dreams I found you I hope you'll always stay
2.
WHEN THE COLD WIND BLINDED THE SKY WITH FLOODING BIRDS THEN WE TURNED OUR THOUGHTS TO OUR WEDDING WORDS THE PAINTED VALLEYS WE MADE OUR MARRIAGE IN GAVE US NEWBORN SOULS SO WE COULD START AGAIN THE BAND GOES ON FOREVER BOUND IN MYSTERY WE’LL PART NEVER WHEN CONFUSION CURSED OUR DAYS WE LIVED ALONE BUT SOMEHOW AS WINTER CAME IN WE FOUND A HOME A TWINED BEAMED ARC TWINNED OUR GHOSTED SOULS BOUND BY SEPARATION MADE SOMEHOW WHOLE THE BAND GOES ON FOREVER BOUND IN MYSTERY WE’LL PART NEVER
3.
MY PRIMITIVE JOY Sometime last spring in the Cascade Range When the first warm winds did blow I watched a river burst its banks And flood the fields below On the ridge looking down I got drunk on red red wine It was so good you know I thought somehow This sweet world could stay mine But I awoke so alone And darkness traced the trees And I felt as I left that place A wild and patterned grief Then freed of all sense of pain Listening for a human voice I wound my way back through the rain Forgetting... my primitive joy I was making love with Cassie She looked me in the eye And said you must not be afraid Don't look away if our love should die "What do you mean?" I said She said I think you know Love marked in time in time may go The she smiled and said Don't fall in love With what fools enjoy But I'd already fallen back Dreaming... about my… Primitive joy They say each muttered prayer From each loosened tongue To heaven finally flies That each tender care and dream unsung Must have a home on high But we are born bound in time, Slaves to mystery And so I wonder If these hopes at last will abandon me And I'm a fool and I'm in love With what time destroys Yet somehow still I'll rest with you My secret soul, You, my primitive joy
4.
BEAUTIFUL GIRL I knew a girl, she was a world Contained and complete In her dream was a gleam There were jewels at her feet She wrote the names of the poets High up in the sky In her hand was a talisman Against false words that die Yes she was a beautiful girl She tried to be someone else An undisguised foot soldier In undeclared war on herself She knew the downtown martyr With his roses for the poor He spoke like a holy father As she huddled in his door Her mother said what's wrong with you Her sister held up her hand “Tell us what’s wrong with you, We don't understand…” Ensnared in deep slavery In each form and abyss She lived beneath the storm Beyond each stranger’s kiss Her days grew to cruelty No she couldn’t quit She walked the streets a bleeding beast She never got over it Yes she was a good girl Tender beneath her pain She bargained hard for her sanity And vanished like the rain I knew a girl, she was a world Contained and complete In her dream was a gleam There were jewels at her feet As roses reach forever In wild sprays untamed I'll seek her face forever And always call her name
5.
WHOSE FAULT BUT MINE Whose fault but mine? I was blind, I fell behind The silver bells that chime Through every street back and forth in rhyme Yes I hear them sing and they sing for me In half-remembered dreams they sing for me Whose fault but mine? I looked up from my windowsill And every sun aligned In every sky over Mission Hill Are all these strangers only passerby? I thought I knew them well but my senses lie Whose fault but mine? Phantoms rise and in shapes converge All down the line They're gone again in a spiral surge Soot in sunlight – oh my soul I am reclaimed Despite all I thought I am reclaimed Whose fault but mine? I was blind and I fell behind The seven bells that chime Down River Street back and forth in rhyme Whose fault but mine? Whose fault but mine?
6.
Let me know how to find you Should circumstance blind you Or false friends prove a mirror most unkind Let me know how to see you Should circumstance free you But doubting, you’re still confined If the wind whispers a curse Or silence proves worse Won’t you speak though it’s a dream In the twilight streets that glimmer I hear your sweet songs shimmer As radios fade and even dust must gleam When strangers make you pay a price For the lies they call advice Whose certainties hypnotize your heart Let me know how to find you If there’s no one left behind you And you see the end must start
7.
Darkness is a rider Bane to good hope In every mother's son Darkness is a rider Granting absolution Where crime there is none Paranoia camera moving in The angle couldn't be much tighter As every stranger's face gapes inside a grin Remember darkness is a rider Darkness is a rider With raw beating heart Through your window he'll start Darkness is a rider He'll pluck your mystery With cruel cunning art Give me release, or some kind of peace My burden could be so much lighter For you who made my soul also made the beast Whose darkness is a rider Darkness is a rider Drawing curtains close Against the ghost of the sun Darkness is a rider Granting absolution Where crime there is none
8.
Whose Face? 04:31
Whose face at the window? Whose hand on the door? There's light, there's light, there's light From the ceiling to the floor Whose face at the window? Whose hand on the door? There's light, there's light, there's light Like never before Innocent again, beyond dreaming Innocent again, not beyond blame So your deathless soul climbs to its heaven You're free, yes, just the same The silence of the dark steals upon you Its warm heart beats like a drum Whisper your secrets now they are fleeting Nightfall now has come The mirror of this world reflecting The savagery of both flesh and sky Gives you up, now rest, sweet pilgrim, Forever - peace - bye and bye
9.
Who is my brother? Who burns in the street? Ignored and despised Who secretly weeps? Whose fear is unyielding To dreamlike regret Who pain feeding on him Must more pain beget Is my brother lost to me? Who sang along the shore Of the river running backwards To heaven's gated door It was he I loved the best His joy still I scorned And so betrayed my brother Whose hopes died unborn Who is my brother? What is his need? Whose heart with self-loathing And sorrow does bleed Who is my brother? Whose face I can't forget Whose city is burning With fear and regret?
10.
Have you been to the city Whose light bathes her in gold? Green hills swarm around her Her secrets to enfold Whose daughters sing forever Across the great divide Have you been to the city Stranded and denied? Have you been to the city In lilac Easter time? Children drift in daydream white Along the Palatine They're bearing gifts forever Numbered, without name Have you been to the city Losing in a loser's game? Have you been to the city Inside a stranger world? You give yourself so easily, Senses unfurled What called you on forever, Mystery unbound? Were you there in the city Thinking you had been found?

credits

released February 16, 2010

Michael Tarbox: Guitar, vocals, electric bass
Scott McEwen; String bass, drums, piano
Jimmy C. Clark: Pedal steel, trumpet, violin
Robby Cosenza: Drums
JJ Murphy: Drums

Recorded at Fry Pharmacy Studios, Nashville
Mastering: Alex McCullough at Yes Master, Nashville
Album art: David Landis

Produced by Scott McEwen

All songs written by Michael Tarbox

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Michael Tarbox Boston

“Homemade rock and roll with a dose of rattlesnake venom and gospel-drenched howling.” -- All Things Considered

"Tarbox is the most evocative and distinctive blues-roots artist to come down the pike in ages.” -- The Calgary Sun
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